welcome to my journal (ignore how it's weed themed lol). here, i write up on how im feeling and my current mood. i'll document things that has happened, and tell you guys the things that are stressing me out, as theres nowhere else to yell out my frustrations without someone yelling at me through text.

this journal may contain sensitive stuff like mentions of self-harm, suicidal thoughts and tendencies, and a lot more that might not be appropiate tho those who are sensitive to that kind of stuff.

12th of february, 2024

i just made quick animation because i felt like it. i tried to animate something else entirely different but that didnt seem to work as flash kept on crashing without any notice at all. odd. anyways heres the animation test i made :

not too proud of this tbh because theres so many errors that i could see, but i couldnt figure out how to fix them. i might try again tomorrow idk. this took me like what? 3 to 4 hours ? it didnt take long honestly.

14th of february, 2024

i think i ruined my reputation. today, two people came up to me through dm's and called out my horrible behaviour towards the server owner. i felt awful and i was panicking because i knew i was in massive trouble, and my heartrate increased a lot while i was getting called out. i have clearly messed things up and ruined someone's life over my hurtful words for the past 2 months. had i not been reckless while i was saying all those stuff, none of this wouldve happened and everyone would be fine and dandy. i still cannot for the life of me figure out a way to apologise to the server owner because i know he will never forgive me and would start to have another mental breakdown. i dont know how to forgive him without having my apology sounding disingenuous. idk i feel awful for what i did.

12th of April, 2024

i am NOT having a good time right now i- my stomach is hurting like hell i think im constipated or something but either way i feel like im getting stabbed by a toy knife right now and i also vomited a few times alongside trying to clear up my bowels. I need laxatives or anything that clears up my stomach PLEASE i am just not having a grand old time rn it hurts and idk why. Update i think i have epigrastic hernia but idk i'll figure things out once i figure out how to stop it from happening

13th of april, 2024

ok so that entry made yesterday is just now being posted because i was way too weak to go onto the computer. i'm fine now but i was suffering hard when i wrote that entry. also happy birthday homestuck its officially 413 and i have no surprises readied up but uhhh im on page 2018 of the comic and that is very swaggerlicious.

19th of April, 2024

i might be autistic